Befriending Failure

So many of us are afraid of failure, so much so that we come up with the most ridiculous excuses as to why we can’t or won’t do whatever it is that we “claim” we want to do. “Oh, it doesn’t feel like the right time; I don’t have enough money; I’m already too stressed out; My schedule is already hectic; I don’t feel like I’ll have enough support.” No matter how you put it an excuse is an excuse. We tend to use excuses when we are afraid. But why? Why is failure such a big bad scary thing? It’s literally something that everyone goes through. The problem is that too much of the time we look at failure as a negative outcome when it should be viewed as motivation and inspiration to move forward. Failure builds character, failure increases wisdom, failure is necessary, failure is inevitable, but last but not least failure is your friend. We have to start embracing every challenge or obstacle along the way in order to reach that final goal. Several times in life I’ve heard the saying “rules are meant to be broken”, well I’m not sure if I agree with that completely but what I do believe is that “lessons are meant to be learned”; but how can you do that without going forward with your plan? Ummm yeah, you kinda can’t! So even if/when your plan doesn’t turn how you imagined it to just take it as a learning experience and simply try again. DO NOT let failure defeat you. Why are you letting failure stop you to starting or finishing something? If you didn’t fail did you even really try? Just because you failed once or hell maybe even a few times doesn’t mean that you can’t try again. Relax, take it back to the drawing board, make a note of what’s working and what has played a role into the failure, revise, implement new ideas, seek out advice from others in your field, smile and try again. Success does NOT happen overnight although it may seem that way these days, especially on social media. Take those chances, learn those lessons, gain that wisdom, and don’t give up! Do yourself a favor and befriend failure; I would even say anticipate it but change your perspective, remain determined and learn to enjoy your journey!

The Importance of Discipline: How to Build Your Mental Strength

Talk is cheap, so cheap that it’s actually free. Anyone can say anything, but who are they trying to convince? Everyone else or themselves? You see it’s the action that captures the attention of not only your own consciousness but of others as well. It’s okay to voice your goals and aspirations but if you’re not putting forward effort into making them reality then what’s the point? Once you’ve come to an agreement with yourself on something you want to do whether it’s singing, modeling, photography, starting a catering business or whatever it is that you want to do, here are a few questions I want you to answer to yourself. Do you really want this? Are you willing to make sacrifices to make it happen? Does this make you happy? Ok now, 9/10 the answer to those question was yes but how about these: Do you believe that I can really accomplish this goal? (If you don’t believe it then it won’t happen…point blank period.) If you don’t accomplish this goal before a certain time frame will you continue or give up? (Don’t put yourself on a time schedule, be patient with the process, nothing’s more fulfilling than when your time comes organically.) Are you mentally prepared for the challenges to come? (If you think it’s gonna be easy then think again my dear, some days you’re gonna wanna quit but don’t. You’ll look back and appreciate the beauty of the struggle.) Will you allow negativity to consume you when things don’t go your way? (To get in an occasional funk is to be expected but to stay there? Ehhh. Not beneficial. Even when things aren’t ok just tell yourself that they are :). ) Are you secretly competing with or comparing yourself to your peers in the same field? (Don’t ever do this! You don’t know their story. Worry about you! Maybe reach out to them for advice? Learn from their strategies & combine them with your game plan. Maybe even suggest a collab? After all, you’re in the same field. I don’t see the issue.)

  1. Believe- If you don’t believe what you’re saying then you’re just wasting your time, energy and breath. You can endure anything along the way, you just have to convince your mind that it’s possible.
  2. Practice what you preach- Very simple, mean what you say, say what you mean! Do it! Don’t lose focus trying to look like you’re making moves and actually make them. Let your actions lead the way and everything else shall follow.
  3. Find an inspiration/motivation- Instead of comparing or competing why not look at them as motivation or inspiration? Tell yourself “That’s where [I wanna/ I’m gonna] be one day” instead of “How did they get this before me?”.ย  Find someone in your field that you can learn from and don’t stop working!
  4. Patience- Learn patience if you don’t learn anything else. It’s the only thing that will keep you sane. Anything worthwhile takes hard work, dedication and endurance so keep that in mind for the next time you’re feeling like throwing the towel in.
  5. Positivity- Don’t dwell. Shit happens, take that L (lesson in this case), take what you need from it and move on. Be happy that you get another chance to do it, now with even more knowledge than before. Take control of your emotions and learn to be optimistic. Let go of the “all or nothing” attitude and instead practice gratitude!

Why is it so easy to neglect exercising the mental? *rolls eyes*

Warning: This is more of a rant…please feel free to comment your thoughts though!

Ughhh…I just don’t get it! Why did we ever stop exercising our minds? Why did we stop buying books? Why did we stop having conversations of substance? When, why and how did we become so addicted to technology? Why are we so quick to read a ShadeRoom article but won’t click on someone you know who blogs worthy information website? (shade, LOL) But seriously, last question…what’s up with this constant need to be entertained?

Ok hear me out and listen good!

Scenario: Your mom just made dinner…every makes their own plates (which is fine), but then you all take your plates and go, including mom. You go to your room to watch a newly discovered netflix series and eat, your brother takes his food and continues to play his video game while eating, your sister is recording a video of her plate to upload to snapchat and is watching videos on Instagram while eating, your baby sister has her plate in front but is too distracted by watching other kids play with toys on Youtube to eat, dad is on the living room couch eating his food and watching the game andย mom is in her room watching her favorite show and chowing down as well.

So let me get this right ๐Ÿง๐Ÿค”. Mom just made a dinner for her family and instead of eating together and who knows maybe having a conversation we all just decided that the internet is more important, valuable, and entertaining. Interesting…time, not even a lot of time at that, maybe 30 minutes that could be spent with your family was just wasted on something that was literally going to be there as soon as you were done eating. Does this make sense to y’all? It can literally wait, you can pause, rewind, refresh or whatever it is you have to do…I promise it isn’t going anywhere lol smh!

I’m not saying anything is wrong with the internet because it’s definitely a tool I love and find useful, but I just want to bring awareness to that fact that we as a whole use it entirely too much. And I’m not seeing the benefit or point of it, especially those who aren’t making a difference with it or using it to make money. Just saying it’s ok to go read a book, take a walk, have a conversation, go a few days without the internet…you know just live life without having to use technology or the internet to get through the day!!! Ok, I’m done for now. Thank you for tuning into my ted talk ๐Ÿ˜‚โœŒ๐Ÿพ see ya next week!